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Video: Laugh Factory Ron Pearson

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Laugh Factory Ron Pearson

Length: 3:31 Added: Jun-5 Views: 6986

Video featuring products available on Costco.com.

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Video featuring products available on Costco.com.

Kids are impossible. My son, he thinks I'm God. I'm not God. I'm not God. He thinks I have the answer to every question. He walks up, Dad, Dad. Why-- [LAUGHTER] --you hear that a lot. Why-- [LAUGHTER] --why do we have money? [LAUGHTER] I'm like, we don't. [LAUGHTER] We don't have money. Dad, why-- why can't we see the air. Oh my, God. Geez, kid. [LAUGHTER] That's why I moved us to Los Angeles. You can see it everywhere. Look at that. [LAUGHTER] They say it's the terrible twos. It's not. It's the terrible threes, right? Because a three-year-old could talk back, right? Right? Two-year-olds talk back. You just don't know what they're saying. [BLOWS RASPBERRY] Ga-ga. [LAUGHTER] I don't know what he said, but OK. Three-year-olds talk back, but they're cocky that they can speak. A three-year-old can't say anything normal. You say to a normal kid, you want to do that? They go no, I don't want to. But a three-year-old, he's going to sell it. He's like, (SCREAMING) I don't wanna! [LAUGHTER] Go to bed, Daddy. I don't wanna! Like, who are you, Jim Morrison of The Doors? My daughter's like, (SINGING) It's time to go to bed, it's true. You know it's time for me to retire. Daddy, please don't make me go. I want to find my pacifier. Trying to find my pacifier. Wanna find my pacif-- wouldn't it be great if we as adults could let out a big (SCREAMING) I don't wanna! [LAUGHTER] Wouldn't that be awesome? Wouldn't it be great to walk around in the house in a diaper all day and going, (SCREAMING) I don't wanna! I don't wanna! Wouldn't you love to get that phone call at home. Ring, ring. Hello? Hi, Ron. This chase Visa card calling. We have realized you have not made a credit card payment in over four months. We were wondering when you might be able to send in that $1,654. (SCREAMING) I don't wanna! [LAUGHTER] Wouldn't that be awesome? Dude, wouldn't you love to land an (SCREAMING) I don't wanna! Wouldn't it be great to just let one rip, man? Wouldn't it be awesome? You've got a beautiful wife there and tomorrow's is going to be Sunday. She's going to go, Honey, it's Sunday. Let's go down to the mall and I'll buy us matching sweater vests. And then we'll get pedicures together. What are you going to tell her? (SCREAMING) I don't wanna! [LAUGHTER] [CHEERING] It's good. It's gonna work for you, my friend. It's going to work for you buddy, I'm telling you. How long do you think it takes me to put my five-year-old's pajamas on every night of my life? Half hour, half hour just to put his pajamas on. He's like, (SCREAMING) I don't wanna! 15 minutes in, you tackle the kid, you shove 'em on, he's got two down one leg, he's like, (SCREAMING) I don't wanna! Every night, a half hour. A half hour. [LAUGHTER] Then I crawl in bed with my wife and try and take her pajamas off. [LAUGHTER] For a half hour. A half hour, she's like, (SCREAMING) I don't wanna! A half hour hour every night. [CHEERING]